your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
