We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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