So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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