Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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