just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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