why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
