my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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