What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
