Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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