I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
