lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
