we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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