She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
