she was so not down for the gang bang
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
