I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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