thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
