I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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