In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
