we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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