Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
