So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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