Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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