dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
