I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
