"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
