I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
