next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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