I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
