You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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