I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
