I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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