Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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