And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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