he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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