so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
