who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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