As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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