Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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