Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Still dying that you shit outside
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
