Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
