I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
