YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
