I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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