he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
