This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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