Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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