We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Me too!
Just cropdusted the office
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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