Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
