Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
