Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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