I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My feet surprised me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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