So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This is my gift to your gina
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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