No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
