Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
