Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
